Choosing the Obvious

The internal struggle from someone who has always loved chasing the unknown but now wants to live in one of the most popular countries in the world.

When I was applying for the Peace Corps, I dreamed of getting sent to Venuatu or Angola or somewhere not even a friend of a friend had visited. I wanted to go to places few could find on a map.

It wasn’t surprising when I was sent to Ecuador since I had spent some time in the region and worked as a teacher at a non-profit for Spanish-speaking immigrants new to the US.

I wasn’t disappointed in Ecuador though. They still had far flung towns (one of which I called home for years) and enough mountains and jungle where I could feel myself lost.

From there I moved deep into the Amazon jungle with the goal of not having an internet connection or stable electricity. From there to a tiny string of islands in Panama where those same 2 requirements held strong.

I won’t backtrack the whole nearly 13 years I’ve been abroad, don’t worry. But I do want to pinpoint that initial feeling that drove me to leave in the first place. I wanted to go where I knew nothing.

Trips to Europe were certainly fun but after a few days in Paris, I preferred 3 months in Bulgaria.

I still love the idea of tossing a dart on a revolving globe and moving wherever it lands (so long as it doesn’t land in the US 🫣). But here I am, happily living in Italy, dreaming of making it a real home base.

Since moving abroad, the longest I’ve stayed in 1 country is 3 years. I never left somewhere because I didn’t like it; I always left due to this sensation that there’s so much more out there to see.

For the first time ever though, we’re talking about buying a home and truly settling in.

(Full disclosure, my idea of a home base is somewhere we’d spend 9 out of 12 months a year but even that is a big step for us.)

While I’m not super surprised that after so many years of not knowing where we’ll be in a few months, we feel ready for something more stable. More than anything I want to choose my own mattress.

What does surprise me is that the country I’ve chosen is Italy.

It feels so...obvious. Like of course I fell in love with Italy, everyone who even sees just 1 picture of Italy falls in love with it.

Certainly not uncomfortable this weekend at a wedding

Where’s the discomfort? The unknown? The sense of adventure and thrill that attracted me to this lifestyle in the beginning?

With a heaping bowl of pasta at the table and a scenic view in front of me, all of that’s forgotten, especially as soon I remember that the next best gelato of my life is just minutes away.

It’s a conflicting feeling and one I’ll likely continue to internally battle with. I can’t say for sure that Italy will be our “forever” home (that feels impossible to announce) but I can say that for now, my gut is telling me to go where the pasta, pizza, and people are bellissimo.

I think there are moments all of us will come across in our lives abroad (or life in general) where the pull to overthink will be enormous. Do your best to ignore that annoyance and go with your gut instead. Sometimes it might pull you in a different direction than your brain would but, personally, I don’t think it ever sends you the wrong way.

Allow yourself to be flexible and change your priorities as you grow and who knows, it might send you in the most obvious direction possible.