The Reality of La Dolce Vita
While I adore living in Italy, it's not all aperol spritz and slow sunsets. Here's a little look into the reality of moving here and the bureaucracy that awaits.
Last week I wrote about how much I’ve surprised myself by deciding to “settle” in Italy of all places. As someone who has always thrived in the unknown, this feel decidedly known.
What can I say, I fell in love. And anyone who knows that feeling knows that more often than not you can’t help who you fall in love with. Poor, poor me.
Jokes aside, living in Italy has been really wonderful. We’ve just passed the 2 year mark and while I know that’s still fresh in the grand scheme of things, the honeymoon phase hasn’t waned (or is it waxed?) away. If anything, we’ve been feeling more and more confident that this is the home base we’ve been searching for.
That said, nowhere is perfect. And while these are my personal challenges with living in Italy, we all have our own priorities. Take it with a grain of salt if things would be challenges for you, minor annoyances, or not even noticeable.
To start things off on the positives, Italy has been so great for:
The food: it’s fresh, simple yet flavorful, and not that expensive to eat a healthy/balanced diet.
The ease of travel: I don’t come from somewhere with much public transportation so to me, the availability of trains, buses, and cheap flights is a huge plus.
The diversity in nature: I prefer nature over cities so having the mighty Dolomites for snowboarding and hiking in the north, stunning beaches/islands in the south, and the rolling vineyards of the center has been swoon-worthy.
The history - it still leaves me in awe just how old yet well preserved this country is.
The vibe: what I can I say, the vibe in Italy is good. For the most part, people are relaxed and it’s been easier to befriend locals here than other countries we’ve lived in.
Alright, now onto the reality of living in Italy. All of that above is true but on a day-to-day basis come alongside the beaurecratic hoops you’ll have to jump through and the difficulties we sometimes face.
The simple truth is: living somewhere is different than traveling somewhere. For all the people who visit Italy and fall in love, I get it. But know that’s just a piece of the puzzle.
If you decide to move to Italy, you’ll also have to:
Endure the Questura: The “Questura” is the police headquarters where you’ll go to deal with your residency permit. There is a different one in each city and it seems like all Questure are created equally in the sense that all are a little chaotic, love making you wait in long lines (I’m talking hours) even if they gave you an appointment, and don’t fully communicate what exactly they need from you to process your paperwork.
Be trapped in the country for a while: To piggyback off the Questura, while you’re waiting for your residency permit (either first or renewal), you won’t be able to venture into the Schengen. More often than not, you’ll be left for at least a few months where your permit has expired but you haven’t gotten a new one yet. While that’s fine and accepted in Italy, if you were to travel in the Schengen and get stopped, it’ll look like you overstayed. It’s seemingly impossible to get a document allowing you to travel to this region while you’re paperwork is processing. For reference, our permits expired in July and our 1st renewal appointment isn’t until January.
Learn the language: I personally think that learning the language is an important step to integration in general but in Italy, learning Italian has been pertinent. Maybe this would be different if you moved somewhere really touristic but from our experience, if you don’t need it in your social life, you will need it to deal with paperwork, getting your ID card, going to the doctor, and all the small daily nuances that come about. More than anything, I had to speed up my learning simply because everytime I went outside with Bandido (our dog), people would want to chat about him. I loved how friendly and chatty people were and wanted desperately to be able to communicate with them.
Understand things take time: Nothing really works *quickly* in Italy. The reality behind the charming “dolce vita” is that things move slowly, simply, and without rush. When you’re at the bar enjoying a drink and the sunset, it’s easy to embrace that mindset. But know it trickles over to all aspects of life and you can’t pick and choose the laidback attitude only when its convenient.
Work hard to find a job: For us, this one was big because we needed Raf’s job in order to live here. In hindsight, we got really lucky with having his first job essentially fall in our lap. Although it took literally a year to get the initial visa, the job process wasn’t challenging. Now that he switched companies though we learned how lucky we were in the beginning. Getting a job is not easy - especially a job willing to sponsor a visa. Depending on where you’re from, you’ll likely have to take a pay cut as high paying jobs are even more allusive. Having some level of Italian is almost always necessary.
Be a mind reader: It constantly feels like we’re supposed to know where to go and who to talk with. So often through our first year of living here we were asked for a document and met with a resounding, “you don’t have that yet?!” when we responded with blank looks of confusion. It felt like everytime we thought we jumped through all the hoops, months later, a new hoop would appear out of thin air. A hoop that everyone assumed we knew about and already dealt with. It’s tiring always feeling like your one-step behind, especially when no one is willing to lay out the plan.
I’m not here to bash Italy. We wouldn’t be aiming to stay here if that was the case. I absolutely love living here and am more than willing to deal with these nuances in order to enjoy the bigger picture.
This is simply because no matter if you’re looking to move to Italy or any other country in the world, know that while the pros should drive your decision, the cons will always be there. It’s simply up to you to pick a place where the weights are tilted in your favor.
xx
This is such a balanced take Kat!